It's coming... o v e r y o u r h e a d . . .

Crawling through technology, life and love

Contact me:


Pool Paradise - GC on Wii

Podcasts - Chris Moyles, Mark Kermode and Stephen Fry

All 24 25 Tintin books

Bits and Bobs:
Wish List
Gerry's Lyrics Pop Quiz
Minipops Quiz

Sites I like:
Marc Almond
Top 40 Singles
The Register
Recent GBlogs
Arsenal FC

Some blogs I enjoy:
troubled diva

Books recently read:
Time Out Guide to Havana (and Cuba)
And The Hippos Were Boiled In Their Tanks - William S Burroughs and Jack Kerouac
At My Mother's Knee ... and Other Low Joints: The Autobiography - Paul O'Grady
Star Maker - Olaf Stapledon
My Booky Wook - Russell Brand
When You Are Engulfed in Flames - David Sedaris
Then We Come To The End - Joshua Ferris
A Spot of Bother - Mark Haddon
The End of Mr. Y - Scarlett Thomas
I Never Knew That About London - Christopher Winn
The Arsenal Miscellany - Adam Gold
Young Hearts Run Free: The Real Story of the 1970s - Dave Haslam
Magical Thinking - Augusten Burroughs
Veronika Decides To Die - Paulo Coelho
Time Out Guide - Amsterdam
Lillian's Story - Kate Grenville
The God Delusion - Richard Dawkins
Schott's Original Miscellany - Ben Schott
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J K Rowling
A Gay History Of Britain - Matt Cook
Time Out Guide to Madrid
Time Out Guide to New York
Kingdom Come - J. G. Ballard
The Hours - Michael Cunningham
Mutants - Aramand Marie Leroi
A Young Man's Passage - Julian Clary
Growing Pains - Billie Piper
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Wild Swans - Jung Chang
Highbury: The Story of Arsenal N.5 - Jon Spurling
Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins - Rupert Everett
Affinity - Sarah Waters
Lighthousekeeping - Jeanette Winterson
Tipping The Velvet - Sarah Waters
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
Of Human Bondage - W Somerset Maugham
Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
Lucky Man - Michael J Fox
Labyrinth - Kate Mosse
Fingersmith - Sarah Waters
The Night Watch - Sarah Waters
The Pedant's Revolt - Andrea Barham
The Republic Of Trees - Sam Taylor
Written On tbe Body - Jeanette Winterson
Untold Stories - Alan Bennett
The Plot Against America - Philip Roth
Read All About It - Max Clifford
The Folding Star - Alan Hollinghurst
Thursbitch - Alan Garner
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim - David Sedaris
Staying Alive - Matt Beaumont
The Bookseller Of Kabul - Asne Seierstad
Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince - J K Rowling
A Short History Of Nearly Everything - Bill Bryson
Count Karlstein - Philip Pullman
The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Spell - Alan Hollinghurst
The Double Life Of Daniel Glick - Maurice Caldera
The Smoking Diaries - Simon Gray
Straight- Boy George
Digital Fortress - Dan Brown
Deception Point - Dan Brown
The Ladies No. 1 Detective Agency - Alexander McCall Smith
Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
Sydney - Time Out Guide
Oryx and Crake - Margaret Atwood
Eleanor Rigby - Douglas Coupland
The Scarecrow and His Servant - Philip Pullman
Tha Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
The Perks Of Being A Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky
Planet Simpson - Chris Turner
The Line Of Beauty - Alan Hollinghurst
Barcelona - Time Out Guide
The Closed Circle - Jonathan Coe
The Clerkenwell Tales - Peter Ackroyd
Copenhagen - TimeOut Guide
The Butterfly Tattoo - Philip Pullman
The Broken Bridge - Philip Pullman
In Search of the Pleasure Palace - Marc Almond
Brick Lane - Monica Ali
Vernon God Little - DBC Pierre
Last Exit To Brooklyn - Hubert Selby Jr
You Shall Know Our Velocity - Dave Eggers
Touching The Void - Joe Simpson
Life Of Pi - Yann Martel
Istanbul - Time Out Guide
Millennium People - J G Ballard
The Duchess Who Wouldn't Sit Down - Jesse Browner
Hey Nostradamus! - Douglas Coupland
Eats, Shoots and Leaves - Lynne Truss
The Wind-up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami
Our Man In Havana - Graham Greene
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon
Lyra's Oxford - Philip Pullman
Doran - Will Self
Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
the book, the film, the t-shirt - matt beaumont
High Society - Ben Elton
Man And Wife - Tony Parsons
I Was A Rat - Philip Pullman
Harry Potter: The Order of the Phoenix - J R Rowling
Great Apes - Will Self
Barrel Fever - David Sedaris
Round Ireland With A Fridge - Tony Hawkes
Close Range - Annie Proux
The Third Way - Anthony Giddens
dot.con - John Cassidy
The Salmon of Doubt - Douglas Adams
One Hit Wonderland - Tony Hawkes
The Thief Lord - Cornelia Funke
The Corrections - Jonathan Franzen
The Cloud Sketcher - Richard Rayner
Keane: the Autobiography - Roy Keane
A Wasteland of Strangers - Bill Pronzini
The English - Jeremy Paxman
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People - Toby Young
Dead Famous - Ben Elton
The Amber Spyglass - Phillip Pullman (again)
The Subtle Knife - Phillip Pullman (again)
Northern Lights - Phillip Pullman (again)
The Bear and The Dragon - Tom Clancy
101 Reykjavik - Hallgrimur Helgason
Forward The Foundation - Isaac Asimov
Carter Beats The Devil - Glen David Gold
The Tin Princess - Philip Pullman
Atonement - Ian McEwan
The Tiger In The Well - Philip Pullman
The Rotters Club - Jonathan Coe
Generation X - Douglas Copeland
Perfume - Patrick Suskind
All Families Are Psychotic - Douglas Coupland
The Shadow In The North - Phillip Pullman
No Logon - Naomi Klein
The Dirt - Motley Crue
Miss Wyoming - Douglas Coupland
The Amber Spyglass - Phillip Pullman
The Subtle Knife - Phillip Pullman
Northern Lights - Phillip Pullman
The Ruby in the Smoke - Phillip Pullman
The Sandman - Miles Gibson
Blood and Gold: The Vampire Marius - Anne Rice
The Actrocity Exhibition - J G Ballard
Shameless - Paul Burston
Sing Out! - Boze Hadleigh
Brilliant Orange - David Winner
New Boy - William Sutcliffe
London - Peter Ackroyd
Wonder Boys - Michael Chabon
One For My Baby - Tony Parsons
How To Be Good - Nick Hornby
White Teeth - Zadie Smith
Lust - Geoff Ryman
Tulip Fever - Deborah Moggach
Dead Souls - Ian Rankin
The House Of Sleep - Jonathan Coe
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - Dave Eggers
What a carve up! - Jonathan Coe
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay - Michael Chabon
The Grapes Of Wrath - John Steinbeck
Heartwood - James Lee Burke
Cryptonomicon - Neal Stephenson
Man and Boy - Tony Parsons
The Map Of Love - Ahdaf Soueif
e - Matt Beaumont
The e Before Christmas - Matt Beaumont


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Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Back to work...
On Friday afternoon I was having a bit of a crisis at work. A crisis that was entirely in my head probably. I was utterly stressed out. Taking over my boss's job, a co-worker's, doing my own and running a building project was just proving too much. Things had got beyond, and out of, my control. I'd just been working too hard and just needed a break.

So on the spur of the moment at 1pm on Friday afternoon I navigated my way to, bought myself a (ludicrously expensive) return ticket to Barcelona, popped home for my passport plus a few clothes and I was all set. Sitges was my destination - three days of sleeping, relaxing and being pampered by Paul and Simon.

I'm now back in the UK and feeling 100% better. I just needed to get away and it's done me so much good. I wouldn't say I had early nights exactly (Day One we were up until 6 in the morning) but a change is as good as a rest.

So what have I missed since I've been away? Posh is pregnant again, Radcliffe drops out again, Holmes wins gold again, Dyke hits out at Blair again, Robson's been sacked again and Laura Branigan died in her sleep. Not much then.

Friday, August 27, 2004
Red and Proud...
Darren WardAs many of you may know I have a thing for redheads. So imagine my... er... joy at visiting the site Red and Proud - a celebration of all things redheaded.

Special favourites on the site are the two fully phototastic lists of redhead footballers A-L and redhead footballers M-Z.

Pictured here is a fine example - the rather lovely Darren Ward.

[Thanks to Marky for the link]


[Thanks Rog]

Thursday, August 26, 2004
Welcome to weird world of Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to
(work-safe but needs sound)

Block Death - A Museum Of Horrors...
An horrific collection of horrors - all made out of Lego! Welcome to Block Death - A Museum Of Horrors. My favourite is Domestic Incidents - Disgraceland.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Staff Notice...

[Thanks Rog]

The Weird World of Ofcom...
Jesus fucking Christ! on Hell's Kitchen is a no-no, but Jesus shitting Christ! on Footballers' Wives is OK. Ofcom said: "Research indicates that the combination of strong swearing coupled directly with holy names is found highly offensive by believers."

Tuesday, August 24, 2004
It's A Scream...
Bids anyone?
[Thanks Guy]

Gay Fuel...
How have we lived without this up till now? Gay Fuel
[Thanks to Mark for the link]

“Never Use the Cell Phone While It's Recharging”...
This arrived in my inbox this morning - from our MD of all people.

To: All Staff
Importance: High

Please share the subject reported safety hazard on using the cell phone during recharging.

Dear All, I send this message to make you aware of the danger potential of the commonly used cellular phone. A few days ago, a close relative of mine was recharging his cell phone at home. Just at that time a call came and he attended to that call with the instrument still connected to the mains. After a few seconds electricity flowed into the cell phone unrestrained and the young man was thrown to the ground with a heavy thud. His parents rushed to the room only to find him unconscious, with weak heartbeats and burnt fingers. He was rushed to the nearby hospital, but was pronounced dead on arrival. The Cell phone is a very useful modern invention. However, we must be aware that it can also be an instrument of death.

Laugh? I also most wet myself.

Monday, August 23, 2004
Edvard Munch : The Scream stolen...
Nobody scream.

Gaydar : The Musical ...
Well, not really. But not far off.

Friday, August 20, 2004
Kath and Kim come to BBC Two...
Great news.
[Thanks Guy]

Go Girl(s)!...

[Thanks Richard]

Beating Myself Up...
I was up til gone 3am last night worrying about work. As Lesley Ann Warren would say: "You worry, you think. You think, you worry. It's just a vicious circle." Anyone got any thick skin they can spare?

Thursday, August 19, 2004
Never Put Your Picture On The Internet...
Otherwise everyone will have a go. The original picture is at the top - the rest just take the piss. Apologies for slow loading times.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Brain Teasers : The answers...
Well done Luca. Well done Geri.

1. Since the ladder will rise with the boat, the water will never cover the rungs.

2. 15 times - 3, 13, 23, 30, 31, 32, 33 (twice), 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 43

Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Things I hate at the moment...
Windows XP SP2
Our neighbour effing and jeffing at his wife at half past 11 last night and the police turning up at 2am
Subbing for both my boss and a co-worker this week
Our cleaner being away so I've got to do my own sodding ironing
Running a building project with precious little thanks
Having to organise an entire office move this week single-handed
Being ill
This shitty weather

Brain Teasers...
1. There is a ladder hanging over the side of a boat in a dock. Ten rungs are showing above the waterline. The rungs are 1 ft apart. If the level of the water rises at 6 inches every minute, how many rungs of the ladder would be covered after 10 minutes?

2. How many times does the digit 3 appear between 1 and 50?

Monday, August 16, 2004
Monday Morning...
Why am I in work? Don't ask.

Sunday, August 15, 2004
Sick and tired...
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. My cold started to come on on Friday and by Saturday it had taken a firm grip and I was bed-ridden. I hate summer colds, they're the worst. And this one is a bad 'un. I've had to spend the whole bloody weekend in bed; canceling plans for coffee, dinner, a barbecue / fancy dress party and birthday drinks (God, I must be ill!). Mark's been an angel though; providing me with bedroom food, drinks and drugs as necessary. Tip: Day Nurse, Night Nurse and zinc make a great combination. As luck would have it I'll probably be feeling well enough to go to work tomorrow. Just. Typical.

Friday, August 13, 2004
I've got a cold (sneeze) and I'm feeling really lousy (cough, cough) and I've taken lots of Day Nurse. So I'm feeling really light headed and crappy jokes are making me laugh (and are about all I can manage at the moment). Feel free to tell me any more to cheer me up.

Groucho Marx: Marry me and I'll never look at another horse

What's a specimen? -> An Italian astronaut

What's a hospice? -> About 1 & half gallons

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? -> Roberto

What's green and runs around your garden? -> Your hedge

Thursday, August 12, 2004
Brigton Pride Pictures : My regular family...
Here are some more pictures from last weekend's Brighton Pride. Click on images for bigger versions.

[Thanks to David for some of the snaps - especially the final one with Ian with, as David so accurately puts it, his "Hoxton fin"]

Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Brigton Pride Pictures : My adopted family...
Here are some pictures from last weekend's Brighton Pride when I got split up from my friends and was 'adopted'. Click on images for bigger versions. More Pride pix tomorrow.

[Thanks to David for some of the snaps]

Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Scary Movie...
Last week The Shining was named the perfect scary movie according to boffins at King's College, London. The formula they used to work this out was:

(es+u+cs+t) squared + s + (tl+f)/2 + (a+dr+fs)/n + sin x - 1

es = escalating music
u = the unknown
cs = chase scenes
t = sense of being trapped
s = shock
tl = true life
f = fantasy
a = character is alone
dr = in the dark
fs = film setting
n = number of people
sin = blood and guts
1 = stereotypes "

Monday, August 09, 2004
A Great Day Out: Brighton Pride...
And what a great day out it was. It was Saturday morning and the trains were overflowing as they left London; expectation was high and we were not to be disappointed. All manner of queens and dykes and poofs and fag-hags and straights and friends and family were descending on Brighton for the day. The day of Brighton Pride.

When we got there the weather was scorching, the parade long and disheveled and the park packed. So many people, so many fresh faces, so many men.

Just before getting to the park I'd gotten myself separated from buddies Ian, David, Andy, Kevin and Pano only to be adopted by the super-sexy crew: David, Blake, Donald and Andy. My newly adopting parents looked after me in the only way they knew how; copious amounts of alcohol, repeated rides on the bumper-cars and general minkering about in the sunshine. I got numerous texts from Ian and David ("we're by Wild Fruit", "we're sitting under a tree" etc) but making plans was madness in such glorious chaos.

In the end we were all reunited for finale of the Dame Edna Experience show in the Revenge Variety tent. DE took the place by storm as she had done last year (much to the other drag queen's thinly-veiled envy!) It was a fitting end to a great Brighton Pride.

David and I took the train back to London where I joined Paul and Michelle for a blow-out at Duckie. By 2:30am I was a little worse for wear but got a lovely welcome home from Marky (who I had all but deserted for the day). A great day out, but so nice to be home at last.
[I'll hopefully have some pictures later in the week]

Friday, August 06, 2004
12 years...
It's Marky and my anniversary today.

Anniversary's are odd things. Odd because the unspoken word that proceeds them is often assumed to be "wedding". Your wedding anniversary. And I guess for many married people that is exactly what it means. They go out together for a year or two, set a date and then get married. The marriage is the thing that they celebrate once a year. Their wedding anniversary. But for me (and many of my friends both straight and gay) that doesn't quite work out.

Many couples that I know are not married - either because they are gay couples or just because they just choose not to marry. So what anniversary do they choose to celebrate? For example, our GLA partnership registration was nearly 10 years after we started dating so it doesn't seem to really reflect the time we have spent together.

Some married friends of mine have a been together far longer than they have actually been married. They lived together you years and got married to have kids. So when should they celebrate their anniversary?

I guess it's a matter of choice. Arbitrary, even. Pick a date that you both agree is a significant date. The first time your eyes met across a crowded room. A first dinner date. A first chaste kiss. The day you moved in together.

Well, Marky and my anniversary is perhaps a little more... er... carnal.

It was on our first anniversary that I was chatting to my mother on the phone. The subject came up that Marky and I were going out for a romantic meal for two to celebrate our anniversary. "Anniversary of what?", my mother asked. I paused perhaps a little too long. "Oh", she said. I could feel her cheeks flushing 35 miles away in Welwyn as it dawned on her. Sons can be so cruel.

What To Be Millionaire?...
A woman answered the following six questions live on air and won £1,000,000. Do you know the answers too?

1. What is the most expensive property in the UK edition of the board game Monopoly? - Mayfair
2. Nigel Kennedy is famous for playing which instrument? - Violin
3. Which boxer was defeated by Danny Williams in Louisville at the weekend? - Mike Tyson
4. What is the name of Europe's highest active volcano? - Mount Etna
5. Smiley's People and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy are novels by which author? - John Le Carre
6. What was the maiden name of the former first lady Jacqueline Kennedy? - Bouvier

The answers are 'hidden' at the end of each line

Thursday, August 05, 2004
Misguided Star...
Early editions of today's The Daily Star newspaper run with four pages (with photos) of Shell being evicted from the Big Brother house: Shell has become the latest to be evicted from the Big Brother house after receiving the least number of votes from viewers. At 9pm last night Shell was called to the diary room where a secret side door waited for her. She was told she had to leave immediately in a shock eviction, without the chance of saying goodbye to the four remaining housemates. The four who remain are Nadia, Stuart, Jason and Daniel.

Only it never happened. It was Stuart who was evicted last night. Opps. I bet there are a few people with egg on their faces at Ludgate House this morning. Hastily compiled later editions corrected the mistake.

Newspapers, eh? They just make it up.

Revenge : Photo #4...

Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Last night Ben, Sarah, Mark, Paul and I went to see Air perform at the Royal Festival Hall. Great gig. Bit hot. Fab lights. Big sound. Very big sound. Bit prog rock, though. Rick Wakeman wouldn't have felt out of places. Or Peter Gabriel. Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun, eh boys?

Power Cut...
There was an electrical storm over central London yesterday afternoon. Quite a few tube stations were flooded and there was major disruption on the tube network. And at 5pm there was power cut in most of Mayfair that continued until well after midnight. Naturally everything went off at work. So guess who was in at 6am this morning powering everything back up again?

Revenge : Photo #3...

Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Google Images...
It's Brighton Pride this Saturday 7th August. That big annual outing to the seaside for we Londoners. Should be a lot of fun.

Now if you put Brighton into Google and check out their images... you can see Ian and me in Brighton 2002!

Ah, happy days. It was raining rather hard as I remember. How else can we explain dearest Ian looking like a drowned rat!

Revenge : Photo #2...

Monday, August 02, 2004
Soho Pride...
Yesterday was Soho Pride in sunny London town. 100,000 odd poofs flooded the West End for one big street party. It was great fun and a chance to bump into a few names and faces from the past. Highlight for me was the girl at the Lube Up stall. She happened to mention that the lube she was selling was actually edible and amazingly, low carb. Low carb?! You mean Atkins-friendly? Moments later I was helping her shout out the fact to any passing punters who looked like they were in need of lubrication. We sold loads.

I spent most of my time outside Comptons though with names too many to mention. The laughter came and the beers flowed. And flowed. A great day out. I was planning to be home by 9. Was.

My better judgment took a flying jump when at 8:30 I got a call from the lovely Bobby (Pete's boyfriend) saying "Come to the RVT! We're on the grass" - how could I resist, especially from one so sweet? Ian and I jumped in a cab and when I got there David, Bobby and Pete were true to their word, perched atop the grassy knoll. Sitting right beside David and Roberto. We chatted and later danced the remains of the night away. Well, it should have been the remains of the night. Somehow I ended up in Horsemeat Disco too. Deary me. When someone asked me if I was OK as I looked a bit trashed I knew it was time to leave. Now that tube journey home was a blur I can tell you.

Revenge : Photos #1...

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