It's coming... o v e r y o u r h e a d . . .

Crawling through technology, life and love

Contact me:


Pool Paradise - GC on Wii

Podcasts - Chris Moyles, Mark Kermode and Stephen Fry

All 24 25 Tintin books

Bits and Bobs:
Wish List
Gerry's Lyrics Pop Quiz
Minipops Quiz

Sites I like:
Marc Almond
Top 40 Singles
The Register
Recent GBlogs
Arsenal FC

Some blogs I enjoy:
troubled diva

Books recently read:
Time Out Guide to Havana (and Cuba)
And The Hippos Were Boiled In Their Tanks - William S Burroughs and Jack Kerouac
At My Mother's Knee ... and Other Low Joints: The Autobiography - Paul O'Grady
Star Maker - Olaf Stapledon
My Booky Wook - Russell Brand
When You Are Engulfed in Flames - David Sedaris
Then We Come To The End - Joshua Ferris
A Spot of Bother - Mark Haddon
The End of Mr. Y - Scarlett Thomas
I Never Knew That About London - Christopher Winn
The Arsenal Miscellany - Adam Gold
Young Hearts Run Free: The Real Story of the 1970s - Dave Haslam
Magical Thinking - Augusten Burroughs
Veronika Decides To Die - Paulo Coelho
Time Out Guide - Amsterdam
Lillian's Story - Kate Grenville
The God Delusion - Richard Dawkins
Schott's Original Miscellany - Ben Schott
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J K Rowling
A Gay History Of Britain - Matt Cook
Time Out Guide to Madrid
Time Out Guide to New York
Kingdom Come - J. G. Ballard
The Hours - Michael Cunningham
Mutants - Aramand Marie Leroi
A Young Man's Passage - Julian Clary
Growing Pains - Billie Piper
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Wild Swans - Jung Chang
Highbury: The Story of Arsenal N.5 - Jon Spurling
Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins - Rupert Everett
Affinity - Sarah Waters
Lighthousekeeping - Jeanette Winterson
Tipping The Velvet - Sarah Waters
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
Of Human Bondage - W Somerset Maugham
Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
Lucky Man - Michael J Fox
Labyrinth - Kate Mosse
Fingersmith - Sarah Waters
The Night Watch - Sarah Waters
The Pedant's Revolt - Andrea Barham
The Republic Of Trees - Sam Taylor
Written On tbe Body - Jeanette Winterson
Untold Stories - Alan Bennett
The Plot Against America - Philip Roth
Read All About It - Max Clifford
The Folding Star - Alan Hollinghurst
Thursbitch - Alan Garner
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim - David Sedaris
Staying Alive - Matt Beaumont
The Bookseller Of Kabul - Asne Seierstad
Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince - J K Rowling
A Short History Of Nearly Everything - Bill Bryson
Count Karlstein - Philip Pullman
The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Spell - Alan Hollinghurst
The Double Life Of Daniel Glick - Maurice Caldera
The Smoking Diaries - Simon Gray
Straight- Boy George
Digital Fortress - Dan Brown
Deception Point - Dan Brown
The Ladies No. 1 Detective Agency - Alexander McCall Smith
Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
Sydney - Time Out Guide
Oryx and Crake - Margaret Atwood
Eleanor Rigby - Douglas Coupland
The Scarecrow and His Servant - Philip Pullman
Tha Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
The Perks Of Being A Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky
Planet Simpson - Chris Turner
The Line Of Beauty - Alan Hollinghurst
Barcelona - Time Out Guide
The Closed Circle - Jonathan Coe
The Clerkenwell Tales - Peter Ackroyd
Copenhagen - TimeOut Guide
The Butterfly Tattoo - Philip Pullman
The Broken Bridge - Philip Pullman
In Search of the Pleasure Palace - Marc Almond
Brick Lane - Monica Ali
Vernon God Little - DBC Pierre
Last Exit To Brooklyn - Hubert Selby Jr
You Shall Know Our Velocity - Dave Eggers
Touching The Void - Joe Simpson
Life Of Pi - Yann Martel
Istanbul - Time Out Guide
Millennium People - J G Ballard
The Duchess Who Wouldn't Sit Down - Jesse Browner
Hey Nostradamus! - Douglas Coupland
Eats, Shoots and Leaves - Lynne Truss
The Wind-up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami
Our Man In Havana - Graham Greene
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon
Lyra's Oxford - Philip Pullman
Doran - Will Self
Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
the book, the film, the t-shirt - matt beaumont
High Society - Ben Elton
Man And Wife - Tony Parsons
I Was A Rat - Philip Pullman
Harry Potter: The Order of the Phoenix - J R Rowling
Great Apes - Will Self
Barrel Fever - David Sedaris
Round Ireland With A Fridge - Tony Hawkes
Close Range - Annie Proux
The Third Way - Anthony Giddens
dot.con - John Cassidy
The Salmon of Doubt - Douglas Adams
One Hit Wonderland - Tony Hawkes
The Thief Lord - Cornelia Funke
The Corrections - Jonathan Franzen
The Cloud Sketcher - Richard Rayner
Keane: the Autobiography - Roy Keane
A Wasteland of Strangers - Bill Pronzini
The English - Jeremy Paxman
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People - Toby Young
Dead Famous - Ben Elton
The Amber Spyglass - Phillip Pullman (again)
The Subtle Knife - Phillip Pullman (again)
Northern Lights - Phillip Pullman (again)
The Bear and The Dragon - Tom Clancy
101 Reykjavik - Hallgrimur Helgason
Forward The Foundation - Isaac Asimov
Carter Beats The Devil - Glen David Gold
The Tin Princess - Philip Pullman
Atonement - Ian McEwan
The Tiger In The Well - Philip Pullman
The Rotters Club - Jonathan Coe
Generation X - Douglas Copeland
Perfume - Patrick Suskind
All Families Are Psychotic - Douglas Coupland
The Shadow In The North - Phillip Pullman
No Logon - Naomi Klein
The Dirt - Motley Crue
Miss Wyoming - Douglas Coupland
The Amber Spyglass - Phillip Pullman
The Subtle Knife - Phillip Pullman
Northern Lights - Phillip Pullman
The Ruby in the Smoke - Phillip Pullman
The Sandman - Miles Gibson
Blood and Gold: The Vampire Marius - Anne Rice
The Actrocity Exhibition - J G Ballard
Shameless - Paul Burston
Sing Out! - Boze Hadleigh
Brilliant Orange - David Winner
New Boy - William Sutcliffe
London - Peter Ackroyd
Wonder Boys - Michael Chabon
One For My Baby - Tony Parsons
How To Be Good - Nick Hornby
White Teeth - Zadie Smith
Lust - Geoff Ryman
Tulip Fever - Deborah Moggach
Dead Souls - Ian Rankin
The House Of Sleep - Jonathan Coe
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - Dave Eggers
What a carve up! - Jonathan Coe
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay - Michael Chabon
The Grapes Of Wrath - John Steinbeck
Heartwood - James Lee Burke
Cryptonomicon - Neal Stephenson
Man and Boy - Tony Parsons
The Map Of Love - Ahdaf Soueif
e - Matt Beaumont
The e Before Christmas - Matt Beaumont


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Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Christmas Eve Drinks at the Welly...
On Christmas Eve we went down to the Wellington in Soho for a few bevvies to celebrate the Yuletide. We had a great time; arriving early and leaving early. After all, we didn't want to miss Santa.

Click here for more pix and a closer look.

Click here to see the full set

Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Right Angle...
Do you know a right angle when you see one? Can you tell if something is square or not? Why not try this fab little angles game.

Monday, December 29, 2008
Arsenal 1-0 Portsmouth...
It was a freezing afternoon at the Emirates as we took on Portsmouth. And it was pretty flat game too. Luckily Paul had managed to magic up a hip flask so with a drop or two of rum inside us things looked somewhat rosier. Luckily Gallas managed to rustle us up a goal. But we didn't really deserve it.

Friday, December 26, 2008
Doctor Who: The Next Doctor...
"Christmas Eve, 1851, and Cybermen stalk the snow of Victorian London. But when one Doctor meets another, they must combine forces to stop the rise of the CyberKing."

Hmm. Well, we weren't too impressed with this year's festive Doctor Who. Previous Christmas Specials had been way better. Even the Kylie one last year was more fun. AS for this one, the Cybermen have been scarier, the Cyberdogs were pretty poor and where was the jeopardy? Let's hope the other 'specials' this year are better. Roll on Stephen Moffat.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Happy Christmas From Grumpy Santa...

And in a more animated way...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Opposites attract...
A little while ago Stu and I were over for dinner at some dear friends of ours when the conversation drifted round to 'opposites attract'. According to our hostess, one illustration of this phenomenon is that in every happy couple there is always an organised and tidy one (her) and a more spontaneous, less organised one (him). It helps if one partner is more obsessed with tidiness than the other, right? Nods of recognition all round from everyone round the table. "So," she asks brightly, "which one of you two is the anal one?" We needed the Heimlich manoeuvre to stop Stu choking.

Monday, December 22, 2008
Arsenal 1-1 Liverpool...
Paul adn I were at the Emirates yesterday afternoon. In true footie style.. we was Robbied! It was a game that saw seven yellow cards, much booing (mainly of the referee), some jeering and not nearly enough cheering. Robin Van Persie scored a blinder. Emmanuel Adebayor was hashly red carded. Robbie Keane fouled and fluked his way through the match. All fantastic fun!

Saturday, December 20, 2008
It's Carpets! It's Madness! It's Carpet Madness!...
As they say on telly: It's Carpets! It's Madness! It's Carpet Madness!

My carpets went in last weekend and things are looking good. Just a few more things to polish off and it'll all be done. Yay! And for those of you that have never seen where I live, this is it! Click here to browse photos.

Friday, December 19, 2008
Still Ill...
Still got this lousey cold so at home again today. Bah!

Thursday, December 18, 2008
Natural Harvest...
For those of you who don't know about you can write a book, upload it on the website and people can either pay to download it, or order a copy, which is printed on demand so the writer doesn't need to pay any money upfront to have it published.

When writing this recipe book, Fotie Photenhauer was probably not too confident in its success, so was the wisest choice. Admittedly, the reviewers have mixed opinions.

Natural Harvest - A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

[Thanks Ian]

Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Man 'Flu...
I've got man 'flu. Well actually it might be just a heavy cold. Monday morning I had all the symptoms; sneezing, coughing, aching all over and genreally feeling lousy. By Monday night I was sweating like a pig and last night I was shivering with cold under three duvets. Today I've dosed myself up with Lemsip Max, Strepsils Extra and Nurofen Plus (don't you just love all those Max, Extra and Plus words. Makes it seem like they really work, right?) and crawled into work. Got a big day ahead and can't be sick.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Christmas Party ft the grumpiest Santa ever...
On Sunday Stuart and I went to Upminster to meet up with the gang for Chrsitmas lunch at The West Lodge, Essex. It was great fun; eating, drinking, dancing and 'Pete, the Music Man' (think Raw Sex). To top it off Stuart dressed up as Santa Claus to entertain the kids. He doesn't really like kids which is of course why we made him do it! He is, officially, the grumpiest Santa ever! Needless to say he was brilliant!

Click on the image below to be taken to the full set of photos.

Monday, December 15, 2008
50Mb Broadband...
Yay! Looks like the 50Mb Virgin Media service is on it's way. Costs £51 a month or £35 a month if you take the £11 a month telephone service.

The Woman With Eight Bottoms...
Channel Five documentary title generator. Excellent.

Friday, December 12, 2008
Magic Genie...
Magical genie deduces what character you're thinking of through a series of questions. Great fun.

Classic House...
Here are some of my favourite classic house tracks. Happy days.

Ten City - That's The Way Love Is
Inner City - Good Life
Inner City - Big Fun
Joe Smooth - Promised Land
Sterling Void - It's All Right
Soul II Soul - Back To Life
Bizarre inc - Playing with knives
Candi Staton - You Got The Love
Rhythim Is Rhythim - Strings of Life
Raze - Break 4 Love
Richie Rich - Salsa House
Ralphi Rosario - You Used To Hold Me
LiL Louis - French Kiss
808 State - Pacific State
Todd Terry - Weekend
Bass-O-Matic - Fascinating Rhythm
Xpansions - Move Your Body

Thursday, December 11, 2008
You Haven't Got A 404...
You're so Code 11. You haven't got a 404.

"It's just another form of the Queen's English - not better, not worse" - Jonathon Green, slang lexicographer.

118 118...
If you live in the UK you may know about 118 118 - the directory enquiries service. You may also know that you can also ask for telephone numbers and addresses by text. Well they expanded this service a little while ago and now they will answer any questions by text too. They publish these questions and answers as a live feed on their web site and it's really quite hypnotic.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Strumpets Out, Cossacks In...
Our works Xmas party tomorrow night was going to be a Dickensian affair at Shunt, London Bridge. Unfortunately they've failed to get their licence so we've moved to a Russian Nostrovia themed night in Battersea Park. So it's strumpets out, Cossacks in! How corporate.

Black Hole...
Turns out there is not just a black hole in our public finances but also one in the centre of our Milky Way.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008
"Congrats, I'm just upset that I didn't meet her first!!"...
"I finally did it, married my girlfriend of 5 years. She means the world to me, I cant believe what a lucky guy I am. I never thought I would find true love, but now that I have my life is complete. Here are the pictures from our ceremony."

Thin and Crusty...
The other day I phoned my local pizza delivery firm and asked for a thin and crusty supreme.

They sent me Diana Ross.

Monday, December 08, 2008
Cats Being Rescued by Firemen...
What more can I say? Perfect for a Monday morning. It's cats being rescued by firemen. Bless. Not too sure about evil ice cat #3 though.

Sunday, December 07, 2008
Arsenal 1-0 Wigan...
It was a fairly grim performance yesterday afternoon but at least we got the three points we needed from Emmanuel Adebayor's first half winner. Bag-o-shite Emmanuel Eboue's brief appearance in the second half would had been laughable if it hadn't been such a risk. Hopefully he'll be gone in January.

Paul and I went to the Drayton Arms both before and after the match. Great fun.

Friday, December 05, 2008
Nouvelle Vague (gig + a pop quiz all in one)...
Having canceled shows left, right and centre recently we were lucky to see '60s Bossa nova-style funsters Nouvelle Vague last night at the Kentish Town Forum. And lucky was the right word. They were great. Stu, Drew, David and I watched them perform all their 'hits' i.e songs from their first two albums of covers (Nouvelle Vague and Bande A Part) and also stuff from their forthcoming (as yet unnamed) third album. Most of the night was spent playing "name that tune"; a gig + a pop quiz all in one!

The highlight of the night though was the performance of The Dead Kennedys' Too Drunk to Fuck. Mid-song the lead singer took a swig from her bottle of water and then sprayed the rest at the audience. Immediately an open water bottle sail through the air from the middle of the crowd and hit her on the head. It exploded in a shower of water, drenching her. She then spat her mouth full of water back at the crowd again. It was water fight! It all happened really fast and we laughed hysterically. As did she. Still singing she then jumped down from the stage and waded through the crowd to get to the bar. Got a drink. And then waded back again to the stage to finish the song. Bonkers.

Below are the track listings of the first two albums to give you a feeling of what else we listened to:

"Love Will Tear Us Apart" (Joy Division)
"Just Can't Get Enough" (Depeche Mode)
"In a Manner of Speaking" (Tuxedomoon)
"Guns of Brixton" (The Clash)
"This Is Not a Love Song" (Public Image Ltd.)
"Too Drunk to Fuck" (Dead Kennedys)
"Marian" (The Sisters of Mercy)
"Making Plans For Nigel" (XTC)
"A Forest" (The Cure)
"I Melt with You" (Modern English)
"Teenage Kicks" (The Undertones)
"Psyche" (Killing Joke)
"Friday Night Saturday Morning" (The Specials)
"Sorry for Laughing" (Josef K)
"Wishing (If I Had a Photograph of You)" (A Flock of Seagulls)
"The Killing Moon" (Echo & the Bunnymen)
"Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've)" (Buzzcocks)
"Dance with Me" (Lords of the New Church)
"Don't Go" (Yazoo)
"Dancing with Myself" (Generation X)
"Pride (In the Name of Love)" (U2)
"O Pamela" (The Wake)
"Heart of Glass" (Blondie)
"Confusion" (New Order)
"Human Fly" (The Cramps)
"Bela Lugosi's Dead" (Bauhaus)
"Shack Up" (A Certain Ratio)
"Let Me Go" (Heaven 17)
"Fade to Grey" (Visage)
"Moody" (ESG)
"Sweet and Tender Hooligan" (The Smiths)
"Blue Monday" (New Order)
"Escape Myself" (The Sound)
"Waves" (Blancmange)
"Israel" (Siouxsie & the Banshees)
"Eisbär" (Grauzone)

Thursday, December 04, 2008
What a fab little book.

[Thanks Iain]

Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Who knew Mormon's could be so sexy? 2009 "Men on a Mission" Calendar

Cat Bad Hair Day...

Tuesday, December 02, 2008
TfL Travel Tools...
The TfL web site has some rather super new travel tools; live departure boards for every tube station, live travel news and of course journey planners and maps.

Star Trek trailer...
Here's the new Star Trek movie trailer. Looks good.

Monday, December 01, 2008
Eurostar Ordeal...
Marcus and I went to Paris for the weekend. Only what was meant to be a pleasant trip was marred by a fault on our Eurostar train. Almost half way through the channel tunnel it broke down losing all power. The battery onboard (you mean they only have one?) then ran out and we were then plunged into total darkness. Trapped under the sea for almost three hours. The temperature and carbon dioxide levels rose rapidly and many people where in a panic. We couldn't open the windows or the doors, there were no announcements, no Eurostar staff to tell us that help was on the way, no water, no nothing. Not even International Rescue. Eventually we were towed out to the French side and transferred onto another train at Calais. Five hours late we rolled into Gard Du Nord. Waiting for us was a media scrum where I gave an interview to the television cameras telling them what an ordeal we'd had.

(All CET)
10:40 Left St Pancras
11:55 Breakdown mid-tunnel
12:35 Air con fails. Lights fail. No announcements. Heat rises. CO2 levels rise. Can't open windows or doors.
13:55 Moving again slowly
14:40 Train finally out of tunnel
15:25 Still no air con. No power. No announcements. Towed into station
15:45 First door forced open - hanging roof panel exposes wires
15:50 Policeman finally tells us we will be detrained then go to to Lille then Paris
16:15 Detrained with the army and many police officers in attendance just in case anyone felt like making their dissatisfaction known
16:40 Train sets off for Lille. No bar service or food. They could have told us so we could have bought things at station!
16:55 Announcement about free ticket compensation and free emergency rations to be made available.
17:15 Arrive Lille
17:25 Announcement that we'll be in Paris at 18:25
18:25 Arrived Paris Gard De Nord. Gave press interview.

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